Dear Shannon,

In January, I started a new job at a new company and immediately discovered a problem with a territorial coworker.

The first indication of trouble happened during new-hire orientation where she privately stated that “we won’t have any problems unless you go behind my back.” It has been a challenge ever since. The primary issues that I have encountered with her are overstepping authority, asserting herself as the “boss,” interrupting conversations and condescending behavior. She is very controlling in attitude and work detail and has even described herself as “territorial” in the office.

Her sense of perceived power has emboldened her to overstep her authority with me and others. She tends to pass on comments and instructions to our small team as that of a manager, when that is not the case. I have heard her tell off-site employees that they cannot access the facility without her consent.

This coworker regularly asserts herself as “boss.” She was a junior employee and backfilled the role of a more senior employee who retired from the site just prior to my arrival. In her new role, she is considered a primary point of contact at our site but she is equal in level and duty to me. Although she is not the manager of our team, she was interviewed and offered the manager position but turned it down. Worse, she regularly challenges or ignores our actual manager’s instruction regarding project timelines, task sharing and prioritization.

Her lofty attitude creates an anxious and uncomfortable work environment. We have adjoining offices and she frequently interrupts my conversations with others and inserts her opinion when not asked. Once, I was chatting with another new employee and this coworker came rushing out of her office to answer a question I had been asked, effectively removing me from the conversation. She frequently draws focus away from work to inundate our team with personal stories of her recovering alcoholic husband and difficult stepchildren.

Her condescending behavior is a real collaboration roadblock. She is resistant to change on all levels regardless of if the issue is in defense of her turf or the status quo. I have participated in meetings where she has told colleagues “No” when they proposed new ideas to improve efficiency and effectiveness. She is reluctant to share work for fear of losing her status which only creates unnecessary delays in the team’s overall response times.

Do you have a suggestion for how to handle this coworker? I don’t want to come across as a troublemaker in my new job nor do I want to start a never-ending war with this coworker.

Signed,

I hate Tug o’ War